The Twins Travel

A male friend of mine and I were discussing my blog, in particular the part of what girls wear to the gym and the conversation progressed to THOSE girls. There are different categories of THOSE girls, so I'll go through some of them with you. The full make-up girl. Yes, I've covered this briefly before, but I think it's worth saying again. I'm a firm believer that just because you're IN Crap-ghanistan, doesn't mean you have to LOOK like Crap-ghanistan. But there is a limit. Blue eye shadow is never acceptable; neither is cat-tail eye liner or lining your lips in brown lip liner (1993 is over, move on). The desert queen. We all know her. The girl who is a 7 on her best day in dim lighting in the real world but becomes a 9 or 10 on a deployment for the simple fact that the male to female ratio is about 10 to 1. Now she has options. The attention goes to her head and she starts to get an attitude. You just hope someone pops her bubble before you pop her head off. T...

What is it about guys and facial hair when they are deployed? For some reason, the civilian guys (contractors or non-military types) come out here and go all ZZ-Top. I'm all for a little bit of scruff or a well maintained, trimmed beard. Some guys can pull it off really well - there's one guy here we refer to as "Blackbeard". My friend asked (rhetorically of course) if I thought he would "shiver her timbers". But the guys I'm referring to just let it grow wild. I almost asked one guy if he would turn my bottled water into wine (he had long unruly hair as well). There's one guy that does trim his beard, but if a very peculiar way. He trims the bottom of it at an angle, so that when you see him from the side, his beard forms a 45 degree angle from his chin. Add that it's red and he looks like an over grown leprechaun. It does keep his beard from bending when he tilts his head down ('cause beard crease is SUCH a faux pas) but I keep wondering ...

The F-bomb is one of the most widely used and versatile cuss words. It can be used as an adverb, verb, noun, adjective...in just about any manner you can think of. But when it is every other word out of your mouth it loses its impact and just makes you look like an uneducated jackass. So please, use the F-bomb judiciously.

There are certain things that should fall into the category of common sense and should not have to be said. Apparently not. I spend a lot of time in the gym (there's really very little else to do here except work, sleep and sit in your hooch) and have noticed that people have some really odd habits and work out practices. 1. Use a towel. Yes, you are suppose to get sweaty (it's even sexy on some people), but you are NOT suppose to leave puddles of nasty, stinky sweat on workout benches. Put a towel down to soak it up or wipe off the equipment when you're done. EW! 2. Wear underwear. Gentlemen, this is not REI. There should be no tent pitching. There should also be no airing out of the boys. I don't want to see it and I'm sure the other 50 or so MALES in the gym don't want to see it either. If you're going to go commando, wear longer shorts. 3. I don't know what you're doing, but it's not stretching anything. You know the baby birthing shows on TL...

So, you know those communal latrines I blogged about before? Let me elaborate. There are no doors on the stalls, only shower curtains. Some people have learned to sit with their toes poking out from under the curtain so others will know it's occupied when they come in. Some have not, so every now and then you open a curtain to a very surprised person who quickly grabs the curtain (usually towards themselves for some odd reason) and closes it. Every now and then you walk into the latrine and there are rows of toes along the stalls; it's actually quite amusing. But that's not the OMG part. The toilets are European in design so they have inspection plates. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, your business doesn't drop into water, it ends up on a flat surface so you can inspect it. If you've ever been to a doctor for any kind of gastrointestinal issue, you will know doctors are fascinated with poo and you can learn all sorts of things just from the ...