Oh. You're one of THOSE girls

A male friend of mine and I were discussing my blog, in particular the part of what girls wear to the gym and the conversation progressed to THOSE girls. There are different categories of THOSE girls, so I'll go through some of them with you.

The full make-up girl. Yes, I've covered this briefly before, but I think it's worth saying again. I'm a firm believer that just because you're IN Crap-ghanistan, doesn't mean you have to LOOK like Crap-ghanistan. But there is a limit. Blue eye shadow is never acceptable; neither is cat-tail eye liner or lining your lips in brown lip liner (1993 is over, move on).

The desert queen. We all know her. The girl who is a 7 on her best day in dim lighting in the real world but becomes a 9 or 10 on a deployment for the simple fact that the male to female ratio is about 10 to 1. Now she has options. The attention goes to her head and she starts to get an attitude. You just hope someone pops her bubble before you pop her head off.

The camp tramp (the real one, not the rumor one). The full make-up girl is sometimes confused with her, except the full make-up girl isn't as "friendly". Otherwise, this person should need no explanation. Good for her and the double standard she's busting. Just don't talk to any guy you see talking to her.

The camp tramp (the rumor one). This is the girl that is a little flirty, but doesn't do anything. So then the rumors fly because she was seen talking to some guy so of course she has to be sleeping with him. Or she turned down some loser and then he sees her talking to that other guy and he starts talking about what a tramp she is. Well buddy, hate to break it to you: she can't be that big of a tramp....she didn't sleep with YOU.

The twit (this is my friend's name for this girl). This is the girl that is any combination of the first few categories. Usually a civilian contractor, she relies on the tightness of her clothes or the "lift and separate" feature of her bra to make up for the fact that she has no idea what's going on. She can usually be seen thrusting her chest forward in an attempt to draw attention to ample bosom so you forget what you were going to ask her. She might be intelligent; no one has ever actually gotten far enough into a conversation to find out. Men are either drooling or catching glimpses of their brain as they roll their eyes back in disgust. She's probably looking for a husband...at least a Major. Ridicule her if you can...she's probably making three times more than you are.

The stuck up girl. I'm probably put into this category. My excuse is that I'm too damn tired or bored to listen to you ramble on about nothing. Or really, I'm just not interested. I know that's hard to fathom with all the other girls throwing themselves at you. Or, this girl has found that any show of friendliness obviously means she wants to go get a smoothie after work or "watch movies" in your hooch so it's just easier to be a stuck up bitch. Whatever, I only know your name because it's on your uniform.

Now, you may not think you're one of THOSE girls, but odds are you have been put into at least one of those categories by someone. There are some you can avoid, some you can't. I'm sure I forgot a few...feel free to add to the list.

Comments

  1. You're missing the "FOB-Hopping Whore" category. Camp Tramp is limited by being the morale booster but the FOB Hopping Whore brings joy and cheer to all the lonely men of whatever country she may be deployed in...or so the rumor goes. Speaking from personal experience LO-VE being called her!

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